Spread your tiny wings and fly away...

For the past, hmmm, 6 years, I've called myself the "Old Bird Lady". Seriously, I'm like the old women who lives alone and lives to feed and watch the wild birds that come to the feeders in their yard. It's been almost an obsession with me. I lure in the pretty songbirds with over-priced seed and fancy feeders, strategically placed in my front and back yards. I have a fondness for cardinals (Red Jays, as Evy used to call them) and blue birds. I do everything I can, to make certain those 2 species, especially, have what they want and need to insure that they speckle my yards with their loveliness.

I haven't bought birdseed in months. Several feeders are in need of repair. Even more are either on the ground or broken, laying where they fell.

This morning, while I sipped coffee and had my first cigarette of the day on the carport a male and female cardinal fluttered around the remaining cat food on the carport wall. They flew from it to the fence, happy it seemed, to have something "special". I smiled, in spite of myself at their beauty. Then I had to snuff out my cig, unable to face their hunger.

I went out again, just a few moments ago for another cig and to hide my tears from my family. I stood at the far end of the carport looking out at the road and yard, all covered in whiteness. I looked again at the largest feeder in the front yard. It hung, empty, lonely I'm sure, for the birds that used to frequent it. Once again, I had to look away. Suddenly, a small snow bird flew onto the branch of a weeping cherry tree, directly in front of me. I made eye contact. It made eye contact. It cocked it's head, seemingly asking me if I was ok. Seemingly asking for his bounty. Then it flew away.

God, was that you? Are you showing me the beauty in life? Are you telling me that, even tho I don't feel like it, people and things depend on me? Are you telling me about the beauty and wonder in this world?

Or was it simply what it was? A hungry little bird...