a little preview...

Camping is fun! Especially when you're NOT in your backyard! Especially when you take Gramma! Espcially, when you're NOT in a tent!

We're Home!

Welcome home! We had a great mini-vaca w/ Gramma at the Wilderness Presidential Resort! Story and pix to come soon!
Happy Wednesday to your home, from ours!

God is Love-Peace Out!

Back to the Same-Ole Grind! yay

With all the drama from the last few days or has it been over a week now, I don't even know anymore, I am fighting the dark passenger, big time! But he will not prevail! I will! holla!



Today, we're pretty much back to normalcy here. Mr. Peyton went back to work after his week off. I felt bad for him, cuz I knew he hated that totally, but I was kinda grateful for it too. I love having him here, don't get me wrong. I was especially happy for him to have a week off and be able to do with his free time whatever he wanted, as that NEVER happens! (we aren't doing a beach vaca, thanks to the Goddess) But, I was ready to get back on track. So, the boys and I slept in a little this am and then I was able to get up and clean the house without too many interruptions. When I was here last week, Mr. P wanted me to sit outside and chat and so forth, so I was totally off any sort of schedule. I'm totally a schedule kinda gal. I've got to stick to something remotely close to one, because I think I may have some sorta adult ADD. I will hop from one thing to the other like a freak and never accomplish anything!



The Schewel's repair man came today to fix the broken recliner on the sectional in the family room. This makes it time #2. The correct parts weren't ordered to fix it, so they couldn't... Imagine that! ugh! At least the nasty little gnome that usually comes wasn't with them! (I told the 2 guys NOT to bring him w/ them when they come next time too) I hope the 3rd time will be the charm...



The boys had dentist appts this afternoon. Great reports were given by Dr. Stone! All of us were soooo pleased! We left there, in the pouring rain, hit the Harry Teet to pick up our groceries and headed home.



Nothing world shattering today--that was a FABULOUS thing!



God is Love--Peace Out

--this was taken at the bay while we were on our mini-vaca w/ Kimmy! I'll be bloggin about that soon!

Happy Birthday on the Table

39 and holding! Big time!

Hmmmm---

39 random feelings/happenings/thoughts

1. I got the coolest freakin Montana Silversmith watch from my 3 delicious boys for my birthday! I love it so much--mentioned that I liked it at TS the other day and boom--it magically appeared for my special day! HOLLA

2. Ean, my aspiring chef fixed me the yummiest cake yesterday! It was a white cake with brownie on top w/ cream cheese icing! TO DIE FOR! I must say! Oh yeah, Evy helped!

3. Mom and Cary had us over for a fabuloooosoooo dinner! Her mac salad is the bomb--especially when the veggies in it are fresh from Cary's garden!

4. Instead of a cake, Mom fixed one of my faves--a PUNKIN PIE! Mr. Peyton doesn't like them, so I only get it when Mom fixes it for me! yummmm-ooooo

5. MawMaw called at 8:32am to wish me a happy bday. Needless to say, she left a message!

6. Kimmy came last nite to celebrate 39 years. She brought a squash casserole that was "off the chain" as she says. It had cream cheese and lemon zest in it! OMG!

7. Kimmy gave me a groovy photo collage she bought at the Farmers Market of Gordonsville! I love, love, love it! Now, where to put it????

8. The 1st thing Mr. Peyton said when he got up this morning was HAPPY BIRTHDAY, that's nothing new, but it's still so titillating to hear that after all these years!

9. Still half asleep, crawling into my bed this morning, Evy said Happy Birthday Mommy! ahhh

10. Mr. Peyton's card to me said: An Angel came to me one day --then you open it-- So I married her. I cried...

11. Dee called from Myrtle Beach to wish me a happy bday--today's her day too!

12. I called Dad around 1:00pm to check on him. He didn't remember it was my birthday. It hurt my heart.

13. Karen called and wished me a happy bday.

14. I haven't been to the mailbox--wonder if I have any cards????

14. I finished a quick-read, fun thriller today! I love when I finish a book and like it!

15. Brooke called to say happy bday, even though I forgot hers! I love her!

16. Dad remembered my birthday.

17. I was hoping that the RS would bring Dad to see me on my birthday, but she didn't.

18. Oh, the RS (rodent squirrel) didn't say anything about my birthday. ugh...

19. JoAnne left a message on my cell (why?) to wish me a happy birthday.

20. My great-aunt Ginny called to wish me a "happy birthday on the table"! Ahh, LOVE IT! When I was itty, I guess maybe my 2nd b'day, when everybody came to celebrate, I was so excited because I was having a happy birthday on the table! --it was my cake! lol I love that even though Ginny is my great-aunt and she has an ailing husband, she called me today! Love her!

21. I started getting happy birthday wishes last night!

22. So very many of my wonderful and faithful Facebook buddies sent sweet wishes to me today!

23. Ro Chicken called and made me laugh today! She can always do that! She'll be home in 2 weeks and I can't wait!

24. Ro and I planned a Grey Gardens Emmy party--complete w/ pate', corn and my stuffed raccoon! HOLLA! fun, fun, fun! lol

25. Debbie helped to bring me out of my funk last nite! Her and Barry have a way of doing that!

26. I called to check on Dad this evening. Found out he was thinking his "bar buddies" were coming down to see him tonite. They didn't show. Guess that's why Squirrel didn't bother to bring him here.

27. I was sort-of hoping that Joy would send me an email or something about my birthday. I was sort-of certain that wouldn't happen. Still kinda wished.

28. Walking back into the house, after having dinner at Mom's, my house smelled scrumptious! Nothing makes me happier than my house smelling good!

29. Ean and I had a short, but kinda deep conversation about friends today. I'm amazed at how clearly he sees things for as young as he is.

30. My dear husband gave me a foot massage, complete with scented lotion this afternoon. Talk about B-L-I-S-S!

31. I am so very blessed.

32. Thank you Lord, for 39 wonderful years!

33. Thank you Lord, for Mr. Peyton. He is truly my soul-mate and best friend. I don't know what I did to deserve such a wonderful man, but please know that I DO NOT take it/him for granted!

34. Thank you Lord, for Ean Cole. He is such a dream child! Please protect him, Lord, from the harshness of this world. He's a gentle soul and I think may need a little extra protection.

35. Thank you Lord, for Evan Caine. He has brought so much joy to our lives. Please protect his wild spirit. It's one of his most endearing qualities!

36. Please Lord, if it's your will, let me have about 39 more years! I promise to make the most of them!

37. I can't believe I'm almost 40! oh my...

38. I'm blogging tonite--man talk about cheap and good therapy! love it!

39. God is Love--Peace Out

Rodent Wednesday

Wednesday and Thursday were very funky days for me... My dark passenger was riding with me both days... A friend of mine blogged about her dark passenger and so I'm stealing her phrase, I hope she doesn't mind!

Actually, I was fine until I got a call from my Aunt JoAnne. As you know, I love this woman so very much and have been so close to her for soon long. Needless to say, if something's off with our relationship, it really bums me out. Anyho, she called me to "tell me some things before I went down to my Dad's". Ok, no biggie--or so I thought. A prelude to this story is that we (we meaning myself, Mr. Peyton, Ean, JoAnne, John David and Barry) were extremely upset that while Dad was stroking out, his live in girlfriend of more than 15 years left and went to pet-sit for her daughter in Richmond. Squirrel, as Dad so sickeningly refers to her as, is a very odd duck...opps, and odd rodent? Isn't that what a squirrel is? None of us have been overly fond of the infamous Squirrel. She's not a mean-spirited person (I don't think) but she's definitely weird! I think the icing on the squirrel feeder came when she moved out, bought a house in Richmond, lived there until my Dad almost finished building his house, then sold the place in Richmond and moved back in with him, professing her undying love for him... I've never trusted her again and quite frankly, seen her true colors. My Aunt and Uncles and I have had many conversations about this rodent, and are all on the same page about her, but have bitten our tongues. Actually, Dad and I have talked about my distrust of her, but he says (and I quote) "I'm staying true to my Squirrel"... BARF! Ok, prelude over, JoAnne proceeds to lecture, if you will, me on it not being the right time to say something to Squirrel about not being there for my Dad. It was a blow, I must say, but not earth shattering. I told JoAnne not to worry, mum was the word, while I couldn't help but think what does JoAnne think? Does she think I'm going to go down there and cause a huge scene? Especially as sick as Dad is? I've kept too quiet for 15 years, where is this coming from? So, we continue to chat, she called me from work mind you. Jody (short for JoAnne, duh) has only called me from work like 4 times in my whole life! Three of those times have been death situations... This dawned on me too...
"Gale (the Squirrel's proper name) doesn't know where you stand, she is worried because she knows the tension between yall, she doesn't want to step on your toes, but rightfully so, she's really worried about Jack's finances and stuff" Jody sheepishly begins. "You know, she can't do any of the paper work, because you are the next of kin and with them not getting married she has no legal rights. Angie, I know you're really put out with her for not coming back while your Dad was in the hospital and all, and I am too, but I do think she's worried about your Dad and I do think she's worried about you. I told her that yall should sit down and have a heart to heart talk" Jody added, a little too fast for my liking. "Well Jody, I don't understand, really, what you're getting at" I say, feeling an odd sinking in my stomach. JoAnne is our peacemaker, if you will. JoAnne is now the mother hen of our clan. JoAnne also tells each of us what she wants us to hear...until she's mad, I will add. All that being said, I've always thought Jody and I had no secrets. I thought she told me everything, good or bad, whether I wanted to hear it or not. Suddenly, I was feeling like maybe I didn't really know how she truly felt about things--mainly, me.
"Well, Gale's worried, basically, that you hold everything in your hands".
"Has she said that, what in the world, all I'm worried about right now is my Dad and she's already let him go without his meds for 1 nite and her and I both need to be concerned with his health. This other stuff is going to have to wait" I say, with a trembling voice.
"That's just it, it can't wait Angie. You know Gale can't take care of the things that need to be done, hell your Dad does her checkbook for her, YOU'RE going to have to do all this stuff Angie. Gale says she'll get a job in September to help bring in some money, but until then YOU'LL have to get him signed up for disability, etc."... JoAnne goes on.
I listen to my aunt ramble on about all the stuff I need to do and take care of. Of course, I've thought about these things, but again, Dad's health is at the top of my list of priorities right now. Furthermore, when did Jody become this advocate for the Squirrel? Jody ended the ramble on a note to the sound of "I really feel sorry for Gale right now, I just think yall really need to talk".

Poor Mr. Peyton was the first sounding board. To my surprise, he was more upset than I was!

About an hour and 1/2 later, I get to the farm to check on Dad. The squirrel greets me with a hug (sickening sweet) and Dad is this hollow stranger that I've been introduced to since Saturday. Squirrel quickly tells me under her breath that she's got some stuff to talk to me about. I bet you do. I begin to follow up with some drs that Dad talked to and made 2 appts for him. I bring up the financial aid papers that I filled out for him for the hospital bills and that kinda opens up Pandora's Box. "While we're on this subject, I want to tell you what I want" the hollow stranger that's shuffling around in my Dad's body slowly says. "You know Gale's behind the 8 ball, because we never got married and I need to look out for her". (ugh, behind the 8 ball, he totally regurgitated that from the rodent squirrel and never got married--duh!)
"Well Dad, I just assumed when Gale moved back after you built your house, she had life time rights" I got a little dig in.
"Yeah, that's what I want"
"Well, of course... I just can't believe you or anybody else would think I'd think or do anything different" I croak. Tears were stinging the back of my throat, hopefully it didn't show in my eyes. Although as out of it as Dad is, he wouldn't have noticed anyway. The rodent doesn't know me well enough to know if I was ready to burst into tears or not.
"Well, you're my contact and person, so I want you to know this and make sure she's taken care of"
"Of course Dad"
The conversation turns to other things, calls that need to be made, etc., all by me of course and I amble through. The entire time, I'm glaring at the rodent, wondering what all she's saying to my Dad. Where is all this coming from? I mean, of course he loves her and wants to make sure she's not thrown out on her butt (yeah, he said that too), but what are they saying? Have I ever given them a reason to think I'd do such a cruel thing? Yesterday I couldn't say NO, I HAVEN'T GIVEN THEM A REASON TO THINK THAT, today (Friday) I can! I can't believe my Dad didn't even say, I know you wouldn't Hoot Owl, I'm just voicing my wishes. I felt crushed.

Later on in the visit, Squirrel told me something that I didn't know. Something that made JoAnne's call kinda make sense. Squirrel Rodent told me that her, Dad and JoAnne talked "way before your Dad got sick" about if anything happened to him, what would Squirrel do. She has since talked to JoAnne (and Dad) and the plan is that if my Dad happens to die before a car hits the squirrel, JoAnne and the Squirrel will become roomies, at the farm and split the costs 50/50. "It's a win-win" the Squirrel grins, like rodent in a trash can full of yesterday's leftover meatloaf. Hmmm....

So, now I feel like Jody's call was as much for HER benefit as it was Rodent's. If I were to upset RS (rodent squirrel), then her marvy situation of getting away from her deadbeat boyfriend (of like 100 years) would be screwed. Hmmmm... funny, I have NEVER heard about this plan. Don't get me wrong, it's great if my aunt were to move into my Dad's house after he passed away (God forbid), but why have I been left "behind the 8 ball" about all this? Especially since JoAnne is so concerned w/ me being the one in charge of everything. See where I'm going with this?

My dark passenger rode back to Southern Comfort with me, jabbering away the whole time. Damn him... He was with me the rest of the day and all night and all day Thursday. I could do nothing but flounder around the house in a haze. He was there, distracting me from everything. I hate that Dark Passenger! I really do. But you know, I can't blame it all on him.

God is Love--Peace Out

luck...

Today, sitting on my Dad's front porch I bit my tongue. While doing so, I had an epiphany. I am a very lucky gal!

I've never been the person to win a door prize. Never won at games and such--closest I'll ever come is 2nd. Dumb, freaky things happen to me constantly! I've always said that my life is like a daggone episode of Senfield! Seriously--it's uncanny how off the wall crap happens to me!

So, while we were talking about my Dad NOT winning the lottery ($1000.00 a week for life--and boy do I wish he would have won especially after what he's been thru) I almost said what I always say "With my luck, you can forget it"...

As soon as the thought came into my mind, I got a mini-slide show of the past few days as well. I saw the prayers answered that Evy was safe and ok at VA Beach and I saw (literally) my prayers answered that my Dad would be ok. I smiled, I'm sure a big ole cheesy smile when I realized this evening, for the 1st time in my life, just how dang LUCKY I am! My Lord has answered so very many of my prayers, a lot of which were desperate prayers (ie--the 2 above) and what does that make me? Blessed...Lucky--for sure!!!!!!!!!!

I will never, ever again say that if it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all. Never! I promise!

My father suffered a pretty bad stroke. I've been with him for days and I'm too tired to fill you in on all of it right now, but I will. For right now, I just wanna wallow in my luckiness!

God is Love--Peace Out

Butterflies!

Butterflies have always been fascinating to me. I love em! I love their quiet beauty. I love that they always put a smile on my face and mostly everyone who sees them smile too. I love that they are free and fleeting. I also love that the butterfly is a representation of our Lord's love! So, when my cousin Tonya (who I refer to as Tilly) started going to a butterfly farm in Harrisonburg, I was all over it! She's invited me a couple of years to come with her and this year was the first that we got to go. It will definitely be on the agenda for many more years to come! The nursery/greenhouse they are housed in is beautiful enough, but then to see hundreds of colorful, graceful butterflies too, ahhh--bliss! As usual, Evan was the butterfly master--they LOVED him! (We dipped our fingers into sugar water so they'd land on us) Evan seemed to have a way (guess cuz he's so sweet) with the lovely creatures and he had them all over him! Ean even had one land on his butt! We all had a good laugh about that one! It was a great time! Shoot, everytime I'm with Tilly and her babies, it's a good time! The butterflies just made it over the top! Foohh Sho!

God is Love--Peace Out

VA Beach

Ahhhhhh! The beach! My heart and soul is never as free as it is when I'm smelling the sweet, salty air, with my feet in the sand at any beach! This year, even though it was only for a day and 1/2, my heart and soul were free! Well, except that is, just before it just about stopped... my heart that is...

Kim (my sister, who's not really my sister--not even kin to me actually--ok, her Mom and my Dad were married for about 11 years, Kim and I met when she was 6 and I was 9 and we grew up together, so instead of going into the whole spiel, we just keep it as we're sisters) and I made plans a few weeks ago to take the boys to Va Beach. Kim lived there for a while, so she's obviously very familiar with it, as of course, I'm not (we always vacation in Nags Head, NC). Ean and I went to see her when she lived there a long time ago and I went with a friend, again, a long time ago. Since we aren't going on a family vaca, so to say, the boys and I wanted/needed to get to the beach. Long story short--we went! lol

I actually drove to the beach! HUGE deal there, as I don't drive anywhere other than my usual haunts! I was kinda proud of myself, actually! Did pretty good! HOLLA! We went straight to the boardwalk and hit the sand! It was awesome! Even though the weather was kinda overcast, it was wonderful! The boys played and had a blast! Kim and I chilled out in our chairs, taking it all in

We checked into our room and then we hit the pool! After that, we walked to the bay and the boys had a blast finding all the treasures that were washing up onto the beach from the bay waters! It was very lovely there, it was getting late in the afternoon and the sun was giving everything an orange glow! I was in a trance! Man, the waters do my soul sooooo good!

For dinner Monday nite we went to a great pizza joint called Doughboys! Delish! And the waiter being a lil hottie, made our meal even MORE enjoyable! lol

The next day we checked out of our room and hit the beach (oceanside) again! The weather was super sunny and HOT! The boys fled to the water--Ean bobbing in the waves and Evy boogie boarding and making friends! The water was taking Evy, especially, down shore, so we kept telling him to come up to us, be mindful of where we were, etc. Our parking meter was quickly running out of time, so Ean came up with us to dry off. I decided to give Evy 5 more minutes of boogie boarding fun with his new buddy, Zachary. Ean was talking to me, I took my eyes off of Evan for 20 seconds (at the most). When I looked back to where he was, he was NOT THERE ANYMORE. The beach was very crowded, so I didn't panic right away. I got up, walked to where Zachary was and asked him where Evy was. Zachary didn't know. I began to call for Evan--no answer. I began to pace up and down the beach, scanning every child. I scanned the water for him, for his boogie board. No Evan. Ean had gotten up and come to the edge of the water, I looked up at him and he motioned for me to come to him. "Have you found him?" I asked, Ean shook his head no. I then flew into PANIC MODE. I screamed to him to start searching and I ran thru the crowds of people to the lifeguard station. "I can't find my little boy, he's 7" I croaked. The young, pretty lifeguard went into action immediately! She asked me his name, etc. I answered her questions and ran back to the water, screaming his name and praying to Jesus to let my baby be alright. All I could think was that he was drowning out in the water. OMG--that was the worst feeling of my life, EVER!!!!!!!!!!! There were people, caring and concerned parents (I'm sure) coming up to me, saying things. I don't recall what they were saying, asking his name I guess, I don't know if I even answered those sweet folks. All I could do was run up and down the beach, SCREAMING his name and searching frantically. Then the cute little lifeguard came down to me. "Ma'am, I need you to go stand by my station, because IF we find him, I need to know where to find you". That's when it hit me. When she said IF, I almost went to my knees. I almost vomited. But I didn't go back to the lifeguard station. I couldn't. How could I go stand somewhere and wait for someone else to find my baby. I don't really remember those few seconds/minutes. The next thing I remember is the lifeguard coming back telling me that they found him--he was 2 lifeguard stations up, he had found a man and told him that he couldn't find his Mom and that WONDERFUL man took him straight to another lifeguard. I thanked Jesus, then thanked the lifeguard and began to run to the station that housed my son! A middle-aged Hispanic woman grabbed my arm (this one I DO remember) and asked me my child's name. "His name is Evan, but they found him and he's ok" I yelled to her as I ran. I saw her put her hand to her heart and mouth "Thank God" as I kicked up sand all the way to Evan. When I saw him, I thanked God again. I didn't know if I wanted to hug him or spank him... I hugged him. Then I asked him why he was there! He said the water took him down, and when get got out, it was so crowded that he couldn't see/find us! I told him again, that's why we were telling him to stay close as he could. I was shaking, happy, sick, thankful and mad. I wouldn't let him take his hand out of mine. Needless to say, we packed up for the day.

As we were washing the sand off of our feet, I'm still holding his hand mind you, Evan tells me that he's embarrassed... I guess his mother running around like a lunatic looking for her child that she thought was either drowning or kidnapped just wasn't very cool for him...

God is Love--Peace Out

Picture of the Week

Yeah, Yeah, I know I'm a little behind on this one, but it's been mad crazy around here! This is for last week and I'll do another for this week! I'm sorry!

This is little Evy, on top of Allen's truck on the 4th of July (by the way, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY AMERICA). We have a little cheesy tradition for the country's birthday. We always go to Taco Bell on Pantops Mountain, take our super delicious tacos, burritos and/or nachos up to State Farm Blvd. and set up our chairs to watch the McIntire fireworks show. It's not a grand party, but it's something we've always done and always really enjoyed and looked forward to! Mom has gone with us the last 2 years and she loves it as well!

This year was exceptionally nice, because the weather was kinda cool and the night was lovely. The fireworks display was better than last year, which was bittersweet because rumor has it that this will be the last year for the McIntire show. Unbelievable...that show has been happening for the folks of Charlottesville and the surrounding areas for as long as I can remember. It's a shame, especially since Mr. Thomas Jefferson, was born here and resided here. My gosh, Charlottesville's claim to fame pretty much IS TJ... ugh... Anyho, Imma keep my fingers crossed that Charlottesville will remember it's roots and continue to show it's country a fabulous light display next year and many more years to come!

God is Love--Peace Out

quote, unquote...

I have always been intrigued by Jim Morrison of The Doors. The Lizard King... I read a book about him when I was in college and ever since, I have felt a kinship, if you will, to him. I think he was a truly talented man, in many forms of art. I also think it was a very troubled man.

Anyway, I was surfing around a little last nite on the net and for some reason was lead to google him. I read a few things, then found this quote of his:

I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being, with a soul of a clown with forces me to blow it at any moment.

I was stunned. I know my mouth was gaped open. My heart kinda hurt. I almost cried. It was as though I was regurgitating my own words. Uncanny... freaky, even.

I've never been the smartest student or whatever, but I've always felt somewhat intelligent. Maybe even felt more intelligent than the majority of my family and friends. I certainly don't mean to say that in a boastful manner, because it's not in a book sense way of intelligence, it's in a ways of the world intelligence. Trust me, I would rather be book smart--unfortunately the hard knocks of life have made me intelligent, way beyond my years. Sometimes I feel that I don't really have an outlet for the things I'd like to talk about, discuss, debate. Maybe I'm not intelligent at all, maybe just weird... Wonder if Jim thought that too...

I am sensitive. I have no doubts at all about that.

Soul of a clown, wow! That's the part that I think got me the most! The most intimate of friends and family know that I call myself the Sad Clown. That's the actual tattoo that I wanted, but Allen made me feel real stupid about it when he said that he didn't get it. I'm always smiling on the outside. On the inside, well, not always smiling. My whole life I've fit this description. Even as a very young child, I learned to smile, act out, laugh, especially when I was crying on the inside. Now that life is pretty much on an even keel, I don't have to fake the smile as much. I don't have to force the laughter. Those come naturally, thanks to my blessings and my Lord. I still cry on the inside sometimes. Sometimes it's worse now, simply because I feel that I don't have those reasons to cry on the inside. Now I understand the chemical imbalances, the anxiety attacks, where before I was terrified of them--terrified I was losing my mind. I still felt though, that I wasn't too far gone, because I could slip into the clown mode when needed. I held onto some hope, because I thought if I was too far gone I wouldn't have been able to.

All the world's a stage, as Mr. Shakespeare said and now I don't mind playing Sad Clown as much. It's me, it's brought me this far.

God is Love--Peace Out

Ok, so every once in a while I'll post on here a great book that I wanna suggest to you. Earlier I said, The Life of Pi. Now I wanna suggest to you, especially if you're a dog lover, The Art of Racing in the Rain. It's by Garth Stein and it is absolutely wonderful! Add this to your summer reading list!